Many projects to be executed in the next two months, and no motivation and excitement behind them. All you’ve cared about since returning is being farther away from the focal point of a majority of your emotional energy, a place that you can’t return to on a permanent basis due to regression purposes.
Emaciated, barely resembling a human, he takes you to the airport in his prized sports car. It’s a week after Father’s Day and though he has weakened, he’s still lucid, moving around, and working at least 10 hours a day at home.
You get out of the car and reach inside to shake his hand goodbye. He always had an insanely firm grip, a result of spending a life working with one’s hands.
It’s the last time you see him upright, and he still crushes your hand with his grip. You’ll never forget, and hope to continue smiling each time you think about it.
September 11th, noon to 2am
Club 1808 Annex
1810 E. 12th St / Austin, TX
$5 21+ / $7 under 21
INSIDE (alternating between two PA systems on each side of the room):
1:45am - Future Blondes
1:30am - Street Sects
1:15am - Dromez
1:00am - Total Abuse
12:45am - Pure Matrix
12:30am - Breathing Problem
12:15am - Goddess Eris
12:00am - Burnt Skull
11:45pm - Guerilla Toss
11:30pm - B L A C K I E
11:15pm - Dakota Hogback
11:00pm - Youthful Masturbation Techniques ft. Domme Discordia
10:45pm - Sobering
10:30pm - Breakdancing Ronald Reagan
10:15pm - Roy Wren
10:00pm - Anna-Stina
9:45pm - T.E.F.
9:30pm - Aunt's Analog
9:15pm - Architeuthis Dux ft. Steven Garcia
9:00pm - Genital Stigmata
8:45pm - Grandpa Lies Again
8:30pm - Fake Snake
8:15pm - Power Monster
8:00pm - Acid Trash
7:45pm - Aqua-Eroticum
7:30pm - Bad John
7:15pm - Black Pillar
7:00pm - Proud/father
6:45pm - Fecal Dam
6:30pm - Friendship Cemetery
6:15pm - Glasgow Smile
6:00pm - Dreamcrusher
5:45pm - Bucket of Piss
5:30pm - Flower of Flesh and Blood
5:15pm - Graeyback
5:00pm - Headcleaner
4:45pm - MENSROOM ft. Adam Cahoon
4:30pm - Peasant
4:15pm - Gym Mat Nap
4:00pm - Tigre Merde
3:45pm - Smokey Emery
3:30pm - Delptronics vs. Skwaarmalar Machine
3:15pm - Attic Ted
3:00pm - Marcus Rubio
Doors open at Noon. DJing by DJ Johnny and hanging out until the show begins starts at like 12:30 or 1pm-ish. $5 cover ($7 if you are under 21) MANDATORY unless you are a performer. No guests, no girlfriends, no friends. If you're not playing, you're a crowd member and you gotta pay. Support the artists. Thanks!
The first book of Lydia Davis’ short-story collection, Break It Down (contained in The Collected Stories of Lydia Davis) is the author’s follow-up to her 1976 debut The Thirteenth Woman and Other Stories. Originally published in 1986, Break It Down unearths the silent emotional disintegrations of fictional sad-sack characters – ranging from the man on sabbatical who can’t complete a task to a piece simply titled “A Few Things Wrong with Me” – in economical, snack-sized stories.
The 34 pieces become progressively more dismal, focusing on characters that are stuck in self-imposed emotional prisons. The two-page “Two Sisters” is especially daunting, and includes passages like this:
“Their husbands disappoint them. Their sons are failures and spend their mothers’ love in cheap towns. Strong as iron, only, is now the hatred of the two sisters for each other. This endures, as their husbands wither, as their sons desert.”
Alone and feeling alone at a show that’s holding your attention by about 25 percent, a decision, based on loneliness and missing him, is made: Get drunk and do something unlike you.
This means drinking three beers instead of sticking with only the two. You’re a terrible drunk.
The bike ride up the hill at 1 a.m. is a struggle. You feel the beer.
At home, you listen to one of your favorite records, a dancehall-for-permaangst single made from the heart of your hometown. You turn in around four o’clock in the morning.
Four hours sleep. The remembering of an awful dream had.
In it, she screen captures posts from this blog and posts personal photos of you in private moments on a social media site. Captions include the words “twerp” and “the worst.” Her friends cheer her on in the comments.
Your stomach stays dropped all morning. You miss him even more.
A repeated thought: a horoscope in the local, slim alt-weekly that you read while seated alone at the venue.
Now is an excellent time to phase out fantasies that bog you down or drag you backward. Are you up for that challenge? Can you summon the courage to leave the mediocre past behind? If so, here are your assignments: Wean yourself of longings to reconstruct bygone pleasures. Forget about trying to be like the person you used to be and to have the keys you used to have. Stop feeding the feelings that keep you affixed to obsolete goals. Break any taboo that makes you scared to change what needs to be changed.
A horoscope, for Chrissake.
You returning her recent message – and breaking your silence – might be the "unlike you" that you vowed to execute at the show.